Remember the animated cartoon that used to come on every Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer? Maybe still does. Remember when they ended up on the Island of Misfit Toys? It was full of toys that all had something wrong with them, so they couldn’t find a home. That’s where I live. But it’s not toys; it’s dogs. And it’s not an island; it’s my house.
First, there’s Buddy, a beagle mix with really long legs. I think he’s half beagle and half giraffe. I’ve had him 17 years and I’ve never met a dog like him. He hates everyone. He hates people and he hates other dogs. He hates baths and he even hates to be petted. He pretty much just wants to be left alone.
Baby Girl, my pit bull, was found on Sand Mountain at a friend’s house a year ago almost starved to death. After her personality began to emerge, I think I figured out why someone abandoned her. She’s very aggressive. Seriously, she’s the most aggressively loving dog I’ve ever had. She will not stop kissing on you until she gets tired. If I step out for two minutes and come back in, she runs at me like, “Oh, thank God. I thought you were dead.” She launches into me with all 60 pounds.
Baxter, a mid-sized black and brown dog, was found about ten months ago living in a ditch on my mom’s graveled road. He’s a tad high spirited. Wait, there’s probably a better word. Yeah –he’s a psycho. When I grab my car keys, he turns into a shark during a feeding frenzy and commences jumping and biting me. Then he turns on the other dogs and tries to keep them from going with us. He tries everything to block them from getting into the car with us and I haven’t been able to break him of it. Once in the car, he’s okay.
Then there’s Betty, a mid-sized brown dog a friend found at the foot of Sand Mountain where there were no other houses. She didn’t have a collar or chip, and I couldn’t find a home, so that’s how she ended up here. The odd thing about her is, she’s the calmest dog ever. Nothing bothers her. When the others are barking up a storm for whatever reason, she looks at me like, “Idiots.” She’s the only one I can give the flea-and-tick chewable to without hiding it in food.
Benny is my Jack Russell Terrier. The weird thing about him is…uh…nothing. Actually, he’s perfect in every way. If you’re looking for a dog, consider a stray. You’ll never have a dull moment again.
Neal Wooten is a columnist in the Mountain Valley News and North Jackson Press newspapers. He can be reached at [email protected].
