I never know who “they” are, but they say speaking in front of people is the greatest fear in humans. It beats out claustrophobia, fear of heights, fear of spiders, etc. I’ve heard horror stories of people who had to give presentations at school or work, and their palms sweat, their hearts race, and they almost faint.
I performed a standup comedy show Saturday night. I started doing comedy way back in 1986 when I was only 22 years old. A bunch of friends came to the show and several of them asked the same questions I’ve heard most of my life.
“Are you nervous?” Answer – “No.” “Are you scared?” Answer – “No.” “Are you excited?” Answer – “No.” After three and a half decades of doing standup, being on TV and HBO, speaking to most of the schools and libraries in and around the county, giving presentations to dozens of organizations recently, and now being the instructor for a large seniors’ fitness class, I feel more at ease speaking to large crowds than I do being alone.
But that was not always the case. I have to go back to college and high school to remember what butterflies in the stomach feel like, but I do remember. Reading book reports in front of the class made me queasy.
And I still remember my worst case of butterflies. When I got into comedy, I went to the comedy club in Huntsville to ask about it. To my surprise, the owner said, “Get on stage and do a few minutes for me.” He turned on the spotlight and sat somewhere in the empty room. I couldn’t see him but knew he was there. I was so nervous that my voice was cracking. I always tell people that the bigger the crowd, the better, so performing in front of one person was a nightmare.
Afterward, he turned the lights back on, and we sat at a table. He surprised me again by saying, “You have good stage presence and some good material. Why don’t you come back Tuesday night, and I’ll give you five minutes.” I went back and performed in front of my first crowd. That was pretty scary, too, but not as much as the audition.
I’m not sure when all of that went away, but at some point many years ago, my crowd-speaking butterflies must have migrated. There are times when I miss that feeling, that fear of speaking in front of people. It reminds me I’m human.
Nowadays, my fear is once again relegated to speaking in front of one person. When I say something really smooth like, “Uh…I was wondering… I mean, if you’re not…uh…if you’d like to go out…uh…with…uh…me.”
Neal Wooten is a columnist in the Mountain Valley News and North Jackson Press newspapers. He can be reached at [email protected].
