As the Pointer Sisters sang, “I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control, and I think I like it.” That’s another thing that has changed since I’ve gotten older. I still get excited, but my threshold for excitement has diminished. The bar has been lowered.
I remember when I was 19 and bungee jumping was brand new. I couldn’t wait to try it. I went to Panama City Beach and straight to the first one I saw. That platform was so high. I jumped off, my heart pounding, and then immediately began to wonder if the straps around my legs would hold. They did, so I quickly got in line to do it again.
You won’t catch me bungee jumping these days. But sometimes, when I order something from Amazon and it comes in a really sturdy box, it excites me the same. The things I order don’t last long, but I have a closet full of really good boxes.
The first time I kayaked the Ocoee River in Tennessee, I was 19, too, but I wasn’t sure I was up to the task. I had been training and could roll my kayak upright if needed, but this was my first water with rapids. I’ve always loved water, but it also ranks as the number one way not to die. Spoiler alert: I lived. It was a thrilling adventure to be sure.
I still love kayaking, but now I like my water flat, calm, and still. But there is something that happens now, very rarely, that takes my excitement to the next level. Sometimes, I go to sleep at night and wake to see the sun shining through the windows. That gets me every time. I usually go to the bathroom several times before morning, so sleeping through the night is exhilarating.
I used to love going to a restaurant or nightclub and having waitresses give me their phone numbers. I’ll spare you the suspense and tell you that doesn’t happen anymore. Now, instead of offering their numbers, they offer me the senior citizen discount. But hey, few things excite me like saving money.
When I was a young man living in Montgomery, I was always going places and doing stuff. I’d take people rafting, to the canyon, to the beach, to concerts, etc. I still make plans to do things like that, then immediately regret it. What was I thinking? Now, I get excited and feel tremendous relief when friends call to cancel.
Hence, I still get excited, but for totally different reasons. I went to Dollar Tree today, and they had Philly Cream Cheese two for a dollar. I nearly wet myself.
Neal Wooten is a columnist in the Mountain Valley News and North Jackson Press newspapers. He can be reached at [email protected].
